I’m sitting at a CiCi’s pizza on a Friday night watching kids run everywhere, people revisit the buffet line, and shoes squeak on sticky floors. Cody’s watching Spongebob on the tv in the background and I’m gently reminded how young his soul is. At 30, this is our Friday night. And it all goes back to one person. The one person who taught Cody the importance of traditions.
Cody believes heavily in traditions. We have Christmas traditions; where the week of thanksgiving we start a holiday movie rotation that goes through the holiday. We decorate the Christmas tree in certain way and Cody always puts the star on the top. I can reach it, but he always does the honors.
When he goes to buy packs of cards at the store he always gets me to pick them out for “good luck”. Says he always gets better pulls when I pick.
Usually, once a month we always head to Birmingham to spend a day together and he always picks to stop at a store called 2nd and Charles that has gently used books among so many other things.
And every Friday night since we bought our first house together, we’ve had pizza night. Whether we went out and got it or we had delivery at home.
Cody is really sentimental. And these traditions are something he holds on tight to. And it all goes back to one very special person in his life. Someone we try daily to honor and make proud; and that’s his grandmother. She raised Cody. And he has so many special memories of their traditions.
If you know Cody at all, you know that Friday night was his favorite with her watching Tosh.0 and having a grilled sirloin with strawberry milk. During the summer she would take him to the library every week because Cody loves to read and she taught him how at age 5 before he even started kindergarten. After the library trip they always stopped at the Pizza Hut Buffet for lunch.
And every birthday was filled with his favorite foods and homemade treats.
Early on in our dating Cody was really nervous for me to meet his family. And now, I can totally understand why. Once you’re in, you’re in. They’ll love you like their own. And his grandmother was definitely the person he cared the most of what she thought about his decisions. Usually it’s the guys worried about what the dad’s will think of them. In my case it was me, worrying about what his grandmother would think . I didn’t need to worry- we instantly hit it off. But I knew how important that relationship was with her from then on. And over the 3 years Cody and I spent dating and then engaged I would love her like she was my own grandmother.
It’s so heartbreaking that when Cody and I talk about our first year of marriage- we talk about grief. In early April of 2015 his grandmother passed away. And it was unexpected and gut wrenching in the worst way. We were set to get married just a few days later. The line from your vows “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” took on a whole new meaning. We ended up getting married as planned even though we were all grieving. It was a great day with lots of good stories to be told. But a vital piece of the puzzle missing.
I have to say that first year of marriage we really spent figuring out how overcome so many things. It was a train wreck of loss after that. I lost my grandfather very unexpectedly and then not long after I would lose my grandmother. My mom moved to Decatur to take care of her in the last year of her life.
We held on to each other as tight as we possibly could that year. And everything was really quiet. We spent a lot of quiet nights in our little apartment. They’re some of my best memories.
But now 6 years later, Cody and I are really thriving. We’ve come a long way in what feels like a short amount of time. And our own little miracle happened in the middle of the world’s worst pandemic. We got pregnant. And it’s something we thought we would never get to experience.
In all the prep for new baby we started thinking of traditions we want to share with him. Like holiday movies and Easter egg hunts.
But, a couple weeks ago we were enjoying our usual Friday night tradition of pizza on the couch and I asked him what he’ll do with Zeke on Fridays? Cody took his time thinking about it but that’s how we ended up as a couple of 30 year olds sitting at a CiCi’s pizza on a Friday night. He wanted Z to have his first official Friday night tradition.
I’m so thankful always for the man that his grandmother raised. But I’m just as thankful for all the memories she left him with. She cared deeply for family. But if we’re being honest, Cody was the center of it all for her. And that’s not news to any of his family members.
Having my own son now, I appreciate even more all the things she did for her family and especially for Cody growing up. How rich she made his life with all these traditions he’ll never forget. And even more how much he knew she loved him.
This post is in tribute to her for our 6 year anniversary. I have her to thank for the man she raised and a great husband to share this life with. And now will she live on through him. And Zeke will never have to wonder who she is, I know Cody will keep her memory alive.
So thank you Granny. We love you and miss you dearly. And please hold Z for us till he gets here.
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